Fishing Jokes
Yes, as a matter of fact, we are joking!
FISHING FUNERAL
One day, Joe and Bob were out fishing. A funeral service passes over
the bridge they're fishing by, and Bob takes off his hat and puts it
over his heart. He does this until the funeral service passes by.
Joe then said "Gee Bob, I didn't know you had it in you!"
Bob then replies " It's the least I could do. After all I was married
to her for 30 years."
----------------------------------------------------------------------
CATCH 22
A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota.
The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read.
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and
decides to take a short nap. Although she isn't familiar with the lake,
the wife decides to take the boat.
She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her
book. Along comes the game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside
her and says,"Good morning, Ma'am, what are you doing?"
"Reading my book," she replies, thinking isn't that obvious?
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"But officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?"
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. I'll have to take you in and
write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with rape," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
GENIE IN A BOTTLE
A man was surf fishing along the beach when he found a bottle. He
looked around but didn't see anyone so he opened it
A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie
said, "I am so grateful to get out of that bottle that I will grant you
any wish, but I can only grant one."
The man thought for a while and finally said, "I have always wanted to
go to Hawaii and fish along the beautiful beaches of Hawaii. I've never
been able to go because I cannot fly. Airplanes are much too
frightening for me. On a boat, I see all that water and I become very
claustrophobic. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."
The genie thought for a few minutes and finally said, "No, I don't
think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved. Consider all
the piling needed to hold up a highway and how deep they would have to
go to reach the bottom of the ocean. Imagine all the pavement needed.
No, that really is just too much to ask."
The man thought for a few minutes and then told the genie, "There is
one other thing I have always wanted. I would like to be able to
understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they
temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with, when they
want attention, when they don't. Basically, what makes them tick."
The genie thought for a while and said, "So, do you want two lanes or
four?"
FISHING IS DYNAMITE
No one in this town could catch any fish except this one man. The game
warden asked him how he did it. The man told the game warden that he
would take him fishing the next day. Once they got to the middle of the
lake the man took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the
water. After the explosion fish started floating to the top of the
water. The man took out a net and started picking up the fish. The game
warden told him that this was illegal. The man took out another stick
of dynamite and lit it. He then handed it to the game warden and said "
are you going to fish or talk".
HARD WORK PAYS OFF
One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing
pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the
sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun
and the prospect of catching a fish.
About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach, trying
to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman
sitting on the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was
fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his
family.
"You aren't going to catch many fish that way," said the
businessman to the fisherman, "you should be working rather than lying
on the beach!" The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and
replied, "And what will my reward be?"
"Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!" was the
businessman's answer. "And then what will my reward be?" asked the
fisherman, still smiling. The businessman replied, "You will make money
and you'll be able to buy a boat, which will then result in larger
catches of fish!" "And then what will my reward be?" asked the
fisherman again.
The businessman was beginning to get a little irritated with the
fisherman's questions. "You can buy a bigger boat, and hire some people
to work for you!" he said. "And then what will my reward be?" repeated
the fisherman.
The businessman was getting angry. "Don't you understand? You can
build up a fleet of fishing boats, sail all over the world, and let all
your employees catch fish for you!" Once again the fisherman asked,
"And then what will my reward be?"
The businessman was red with rage and shouted at the fisherman,
"Don't you understand that you can become so rich that you will never
have to work for your living again! You can spend all the rest of your
days sitting on this beach, looking at the sunset. You won't have a
care in the world!"
The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, "And what do you
think I'm doing right now?"
